Deep thoughts with James Diamond
by HalfJillHalfJack
Summary: James attempts to go shopping with the boys with... mixed results. Chapter four- Kendall is being tortured with the dreaded shopping and Carlos and Logan are covered in blueberries co-authored by moon soon and halfjillhalfjack
1. Moon Soon

**Author's note: THIS IS MOON SOON- I just want to be clear because I'm writing under HalfJillHalfJack's name. Why have I hacked into her account? Because I have LAID DOWN THE GAUNTLET! Slapped her with a duelling glove if you will, and by that I mean we are co-authoring a story- and not in a conventional way either since I have written this chapter and she will be writing the next (and so on and so forth.)**

Kendall stared blankly at the long corridor before him. Truly this was hell.

He laid his back against what he assumed was wall and fell straight threw the door and hard on the floor. He hit his head and Kendall opened his eyes- temporarily disorientated by unnaturally bright lights. He raised his head and placed his hands on the walls of the small room, streaking his hand down the mirrors.

That must be a bitch to clean.

"Kendall" James' voice rang out, cutting through the relative silence.

"You're not trying to run away again," James scolded and Kendall stuck his head out into the corridor "no sorry, sorry I'm here."

James appeared in front of him, arms crossed. He was wearing an exceptionally tight pair of pants and a collared shirt that he hadn't buttoned up yet. He looked down at Kendall with an incredulous look and a raised eyebrow.

"So what you… fell?"

"It sounds stupid when you say it" Kendall grumbled, "Why are there so many doors anyway? It's all a little unsettling if you ask me."

James rolled his eyes "you act like you've never seen the inside of a changing room before." Kendall looked studiously away and slumped back on the glass. James gaped openly and horrified expression bloomed on his face.

"Kendall…" James pronounced his name slowly and with great deliberation "you… HAVE seen the inside of a changing room before right?"

"Of course I have" Kendall snapped letting James help pull him up "you know in movies and TV shows and stuff." James shook his head and looked Kendall up and down "you know this explains SO much about you're wardrobe!"

Kendall looked down at his jeans and vans, and smacked James' hand who was picking at one of his favourite plaid shirts. "Hey" he jerked out of James' reach "Jo picked this shirt out for me!"

James snorted and gestured wildly "this just further proves my point- you KNOW that girl doesn't know how to dress herself!" Kendall glared and pushed James "hey!"

James just laughed "that's why she should have dated me" he sang out "plaid is SO smallville!"

The door suddenly slammed in Kendall's face. Kendall blinked hard and went to grab the handle only to realise there wasn't one… it was just a standard push-pull door. But when Kendall went to push the door open, it pushed back. Remaining stubbornly shut.

"What the hell?" Kendall muttered to himself, using his shoulder to push against the door but it only shuddered and remained infuriatingly shut.

"JAMES!" Kendall screamed "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO THE DOOR!"

"I got several of the shop girls to sit up against the door- your stuck!"

"I'M A HOCKEY PLAYER- YOU THINK I CAN'T TAKE DOWN A COUPLE OF SHOP GIRLS!" Kendall banged his fist against the door and then tried to break down the flimsy door again. Yielding the same frustrating results.

"I play varsity football" a girl's voice giggled through the door "and I have a black belt," another voice sung out "I think we can take you!"

"I don't… have any sporting background" a third voice said hesitantly, "that's why you get to man the store Becky, make sure that guy doesn't run havoc with the clothes."

Kendall sat down on the floor in defeat and banged his hand against the mirror in a half-hearted attempt in anger. "Careful!" A voice squeaked "if you break the glass they take it out of our salary!"

"Why are you even helping him?" he glared at the door, "did you not SEE him" the second girl sniggered.

Oh that's right… James hadn't had his shirt buttoned up when he staged this odd coo.

Curse James and his ridiculously defined abs!

Kendall placed a hand on his stomach… maybe he should start going to the gym more… NO! That's just what James wants you to do!

He banged against the mirror again and the hallway was filled with noise again, James distinct male voice in a stark contrast to the gaggle of girl voices. "Kendallllll" he voice sang out, but didn't make a move to answer him. Dirty-lock-Kendall-in-a-dessing-room-traitor!

"I brought you some clothes!"

"Oh hell no" Kendall yelled and took up trying to bust down the door. The saw a second of light and he got the door and inch open before it slammed shut again. "Oh don't be such a drama queen Kendall" James scolded; his voice sounded a lot closer now- he had probably applied his own weight to the door.

Kendall tested his theory by pushing against the door, but this time it didn't it didn't budge for a second.

He sighed and moved back away from the door a second before the sky rained with clothing.

"YOU CAN LEAVE WHEN YOU'VE TRIED ON ALL THESE CLOTHES!"

"NO FREAKING WAY!"

"JUST DO WHAT I SAY KEN DOLL!"

Kendall grumbled and picked up a shirt, it was metallic and had some kind of strange stitching. He slipped off is comfy plaid shirt and tried to put the shirt on. With fairly limited success.

"What the hell-"

Oh. Freaking zippers! What the hell!

Kendall tore the shirt off and ripped the zippers open with great annoyance, he shrugged the shirt again, but now he couldn't get his head through the hole.

"Buttons" he muttered taking the stupid things off again "of course."

Once he had the stupid shirt on, with every zipper zipped and every frustrating button buttoned up. 'There' he thought victoriously before looking down at the big pile of clothes and banged his head against the mirror before picking up a pair of jeans.

"I don't think these are my size" he called out to James, who just snorted "you think I don't know what size you are?"

"you're creepy."

"HURRY UP! I WANNA SEE!" one of the girls called and the other two agreed and giggled.

He got his legs in the pants (well just barely) but he had no idea how a person

Was supposed to put on skinny jeans while standing up. He wasn't even sure how to do it lying down…

"OH FOR GOD'S SAKE! DON'T MAKE ME COME IN THERE!"

"Why did I let you convince me to go clothes shopping with you" he hopped trying to inch with pants up is legs.

"Logan tricked you into it" James sniggered "he told me you're an easy mark."

"That bastard!"

Kendall zipped up his pants, "Okay" he cheered "I think I'm done!"

The weight released off the door and it flung open, four sets of eyes stared him down. James crinkled up his nose in disgust "do you really think that shirt goes with those jeans?"

Kendall glared and pulled at the shirt "I don't think this shirt should exist- let alone go with anything."

"Hmm, well okay- change it up!"

The door slammed in Kendall face again.

"I'm in hell…"

******BTR******

Hours later Kendall stumbled down the street carrying several heavy bags filled with clothing. "None of these are even mine" he whined hitting James with the bags, "that's because you refused to buy any suggestions- you looked great in those pants!"

"I lost circulation in those pants! Becky the shop girl had to cut me out of them when my feet started going blue… AND I had to pay for them!"

"Becky said she wanted to be a nurse… damn I should have gotten her number, then I could have set her up with Logan."

"Erg Logan- that jerk, I mean look what he did to m- wait is that him?"

James turned to where Kendall was pointing and sure enough sitting next to the window of a café, trying to hide behind a menu. "Oh this is perfect!" Kendall dropped all but one of the bags and stalked over to the café, ripping the door open.

"GEE WHAT A SURPRISE!" Kendall almost screamed and stalked over to Logan who was sinking into his chair. Camille looked up in surprise "um Kendall?"

"Camille" he greeted warmly "you're looking lovely today." She flushed and Kendall pushed Logan over so he could sit down next to him and stole the menu. "So you'll never guess what I'VE been doing today."

Logan groaned and Kendall shot him a vicious look before turning his attention back to Camille. "I've been shopping for clothes with James- he locked me in a dressing room and ripped my shirt in half so I had to buy a new one."

He pointed at his new black and silver shirt.

"It looks good on you" Camille said with a smile, Kendall smiled back "thanks Camille! Anyway when I asked James what prompted this sudden desire to shop he said someone had given him the idea." He slung his arm around his Logan "you can see where I am going with this."

"I can only imagine" she giggled.

James rushed through the door holding several bags over his shoulder "Kendall!" he rushed over to their table "we have to go NOW! I am not missing my hair appointment and I even got one for you- maybe we can finally do something about your beiber flip!"

Kendall stood up and took Logan with him, pushing the smaller boy into James. "Gee I would love to- but I'm on a date right now" he gestured at Camille who laughed and waved at James "but hey here's a crazy idea- Logan's not doing anything right now-"

"WHAT? Yes, yes I am!" Logan shrieked but James had already grabbed hold of him.

"This is SO great- we can totally talk about our feelings while we're at the hairdressers, this'll be SO much fun!"

"Yeah" Kendall agreed, "you know how much Logan loves to talk about his feelings!"

"I WILL GET YOU FOR THIS KNIGHT!" Logan screamed as James enthusiastically dragged Logan away "calm down Logie- your kind of causing a scene."

Logan cursed him as James dragged him out of the café. Kendall grinned to himself before turning towards Camille, "so…" he grinned at her "how was your day?"

She shrugged and giggled, "oh you know I was on a date… but I guess I have a new date now."

He nodded "you wont believe how many times that's happened to me on a date" he told her seriously. He looked at what was left of Logan's meal "well… he wont be eating this" Kendall reasoned and picked up a fork.

"Hey you gonna eat that?" he pointed at Camille's plate, she pushed the plate towards him "go for it."

"Awesome."

**Shout out to CheekyBrunette because when I told her about the game and how we couldn't come up with any ideas to use (cause we're idea hogs and we hate to share) she gave us a LIST of ideas. So thank you so much for the prompt. **

**Please Review **


	2. HalfJillHalfJack

**Author's note: Hey! So as you may know I was hacked recently haha and am now part of a joint story with moon soon. **

**I also found out today that in America that they have forests to scare the shit out of people in on Halloween, like for funzies! I know I was terrified to...**

"James pleaseeeeee, what did I do?" Logan begged as James dragged him through the salon door.

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" James muttered as he pulled a reluctant Logan to an oddly geometrical shaped couch.

"Sit," he ordered before walking to the counter.

"Wolf," Logan barked sarcastically folding his arms as he looked away sulkily.

"So just get me when Teresa's ready and for Logan how about you Sally? I know it looks scary at first glance but-" "I can HEAR you James! how do you even HAVE your own hairdresser?" Logan shouts from his designated couch area.

"Pleaseee Logan, like I'd trust just ANYONE to touch this," James said gesturing towards his hair in a sweeping motion.

"So anyway Sally, I was thinking maybe like some highlights or something just to brighten up his hair, I mean you see it right."

Logan sighs irritated and decides to glare at James instead, because at this point there really was no point in arguing with him. He groans and puts his head in his hands thinking about how he could be with Camille right now.

"No one in the world could be in this much pain."

***********BTR**************

"Kendall, will Logan be okay? I mean with James, he won't come back bald will he?"

Kendall laughed heartily leaning back in his chair, "Please his hair will look amazing, but physiologically speaking I cant really guarantee anything," Kendall mused as he pulled at his new t shirt.

He remembered how James had ripped his other one in half only an hour ago. He frowned suddenly at the memory; he'd have to buy another one, you could never have too much plaid right?

Of course not.

"Logan's smart right? He'll figure something out?" Camille said unsure, hopping that Logan would find a way to hijack back their date and then Kendall could tag back in to the James date?... It had actually been going quite well until Kendall and James had shown up.

Not that she didn't like Kendall or anything, they were really good friends now actually. But he seemed entirely to amused about the whole situation in her opinion.

"Logan's smart but he's not THAT smart," Kendall laughed at his own joke and took a sip out of Logan's neglected drink. Camille frowned. "I mean have you ever BEEN shopping with James?" Kendall said emphasizing his apparent point.

Camille didn't understand what the big idea was. Its wasn't that bad. Sure he was pushy, but he was almost always right, apart from his "risky fashion choices" which had ended with him tackling her trying to put a bandanna on her head.

"Yes actually, quite a few times. Sure at first it's a bit overwhelming, but that boy really does know how to shop. I mean he DID pick out that blue outfit Logan likes." Camille said defending James and smiling at the thought of Logan. She really wished he were still here.

"You do look pretty hot in that," Kendall said in agreement. Camille blushed, "But you're a GIRL it's different!" Kendall countered quickly.

Camille rolled her eyes. **"Maybe** you guys are just being a bit dramatic." Camille said nonchalantly hinting at a smile, anticipating what she would probably be a hotheaded reaction.

"Did Camille Roberts just call me DAMATIC!" Kendall exclaimed loudly jumping out of his seat.

She rolled her eyes smirking, "Kendall darling, sit down your causing a scene." She mock whispered as Kendall glared at her.

***************BTR*******************

Logan waited in one of the swiveling chairs impatiently. He fidgeted and started swiveling the chair around in circles and then moved it up and down.

God he was acting like Carlos.

But seriously why was this taking so god damn long? The hairdresser had left saying she needed to get more product, which Logan was initially happy about I mean the less time prodding and pulling the better right? But she had been gone for a while now.

No wonder James left for hours when he said he was getting his hair done. He had ACTUALLY been doing that, like the WHOLE time.

Logan sighed irritably for what felt like the fifth time; "You know, one day when I am, you know forced to go to therapy from all the emotional pain you guys cause me. I will pick this moment out of all the other moments that I could choose from!" Logan muttered to James after he finished talking animatedly with the hairdresser.

Logan glared further he was ACTUALLY enjoying this, the MASOCAIST!

"Oh please you say **I'M** dramatic," James said poking his tongue out at Logan.

"Here read this, it'll be over before you know it." Logan slaps the magazine away immediately and it falls to the ground with a thud. James screams and a few of the hairdressers gasp at his action.

"What?" Logan yells angrily as he rolled his eyes and crossed his arms looking in a different direction.

"Have some **class** Logie this isn't a place where you can just…. Throw magazines!" James struggles to find his words to articulate the seriousness of this matter before picking up the pop tiger magazine and stroking it affectionately.

"Whatever,"-he sighed, "can this get any worse...Wait is that...Carlos!" Logan says squinting to look across the room.

**Author's note: Why was Carlos at the salon! …I… have no idea I'm not writing it ^.^ hehe **

**P.S sorry this is so short I have broken my arm **


	3. Moon Soon 2

**Author's Note: HalfJillHalfJack is on leavers right now but still managed to update 'I told you, call me captain' so thought I'd hack her account and update this for her. It's even extra long (in comparison to the other chapters) because her chapter was short due to her injury- also I wrote this at work on my ipod so I wasn't aware how long it was becoming ^_^**

Logan's eyes narrowed at the sight of the short Latino boy skipping outside of the salon window.

Logan blamed his current predicament on Carlos (well okay he still blamed a large part of his predicament on Kendall-the-date-sabotager.)

But in his head this was all Carlos' fault because being forced to shop, or in this case go to the salon was usually Carlos' job (the boy was easily lured into things with the promise of corndogs.)

So when Carlos had pleaded with him that he HAD to finish a homework assignment that was due the next day, he and Logan had come up with a plan to suggest to James that MAYBE Kendall might enjoy a day out shopping more than Carlos.

It had been ingenious- who said Logan and Carlos couldn't plan when they needed too.

Of course THIS plan had bit him on the ass, but he had still been feeling marginally okay about the whole thing because back at 2J finishing that assignment.

Carlos was not supposed to be walking backwards towards the salon entrance.

That bastard had tricked him.

Carlos stopped mid-step into the salon and Lucy ran head first into him. "Ah!" she rubbed her face "Carlos! Why the hell did you stop?"

An uneasy look crossed his face "I sense a disturbance in the force" he muttered darkly.

"Is that some kind of star wars quote?" she asked, her ever present smirked widening slightly so it was almost an actual smile.

"Is that a? Of COURSE it's a star wars reference, what is wrong with you?"

They both turned (one in horror) to find James smirking at them, his arms crossed and his hair perfectly cut and coloured. He was practically sparkling like a some kind of twilight vampire.

"J-James" Carlos squeaked and half hid behind Lucy who arched an eyebrow at him. "Hey James- Carlos was sweet enough to use his day off to help me find a salon that would colour my hair with blue streaks."

"Hollywood salons are SO judgmental" Carlos nodded eyeing a hairdresser who was watching Lucy flick her hair with a level of disgust.

"Oh hi Carlos" a shampoo girl waved at him excitedly, "what are you doing here?" she ran over and gave him an excitable hug "James said you couldn't make it- he's here with that cute band mate of yours."

Lucy snorted "you and James go to a salon together to get your hair done?" Carlos turned to Lucy in embarrassment- he had momentarily forgotten the rocker chick was there.

"I think is cute" the shampoo girl cooed happily "it takes a real 'man' to get their hair cut at a salon."

"What kind of definition of 'real man' are you operating under?" Lucy snickered at the shampoo girl glared and then sighed "you know that's what they're band mate said as well."

Carlos nodded "he just pissy cause you're going to get rid of his beiber flip right? Kendall hates it when people touch is hair- we had to hold him down last time Mama Knight wanted to cut his hair."

The girl shrugged "Well this guy doesn't want to be here... but he doesn't have a beiber flip it's way to short and spiky."

Carlos paled and ran to James, he grabbed the tall boy's shoulders tightly. "Please, PLEASE tell me that Guitar Dude is here, has joined our band for some reason and has got a haircut!"

"No dude it's-"

"Me."

Carlos shrieked and jumped into James' arms at the sound of Logan's voice. James dropped Carlos and gaped at Logan openly, "now look Logan don't panic- I'm sure they're just not done yet."

A short woman with rainbow coloured hair bounce up next to the smart boy and carded through the boy's blonde and black hair. "Nope, just finished" she patted Logan's cheek, seemingly unaware that the boy was shaking- James wasn't sure if the boy was just really upset or about to release the fists of fury on the women.

James caught the woman's wrist and tugged her forward violently until they were almost nose-to-nose. "What the HELL have you done to Logie's hair?"

"I gave him highlights- like you said," the woman seemed pretty unflappable. Logan on the other set his large bambi eyes on James with a look of betrayal.

James looked away and back at the women with a look of intense hatred "I said HIGHLIGHTS not TIGER HAIR! WHERE IS YOUR BOSS? I AM GOING TO END YOU!"

Logan caught his wrist "don't bother James" he gave the boy a halfhearted wonky smile. "Look I'll just dye it back when I get home," Lucy narrowed her eyes at Logan momentarily and then smiled widely at him and took the baseball cap of her head and covered the mess of blonde and black spikes.

"Yeah- we'll do that at my place, hell I bet Logan can help me with my blue streak problem." she smile turned sharp, "you do know how to dye hair right?"

Logan nodded enthusiastically, and Carlos' face fell "but Lucy... I thought I was going to help you" he whined.

Logan raised an eyebrow "really Carlos? Cause I thought you were finishing that assignment?"

Carlos shrunk back and laughed nervously "well you see-"

"Logan" Lucy admonished "Carlos can't do his homework right now!"

Carlos nodded vigorously and Lucy's grin reminded Logan on the smile Kendall wore when he was about to say something particularly aggravating to Gustavo, "can't you see how distraught James is?"

It was true; James was clutching to Logan's side and was blubbering about being a terrible friend.

"I'm SO sorry- letting somebody wreck your hair is the worst thing one best friend can do to another! I'm not worthy of being your friend anymore!"

"Yeah um James" Carlos nodded "he looks a mess."

"That's why Carlos is going to take him shopping for sunglasses so he can hide his puffy eyes behind them."

James gasped and lifted his hand to his eyes "my- my eyes are PUFFY?"

"Yes James" Logan told him, catching onto the game quickly "lucky Carlos has volunteered to find you a good set of shades."

"WHAT? No I didn't-"

James hauled Carlos hard by the arm covering his eyes with his face, "QUICK CARLOS! NO ONE MUST SEE ME LIKE THIS!"

He dragged him out the door, but not quick enough that he didn't see the colourful woman smirk and Logan hand her a twenty while taking off the wig. Revealing his dark hair in tact.

"YOU!" Carlos wailed "LOGAN! YOU LYING BASTARD!"

James pulled the flailing boy through the door, and Logan snickered "that'll teach him to take advantage of my wanting him to succeed at school."

Lucy ran her hand through his newly trimmed hair, "I like your hair" she told him "Thanks- Jenny's a real pro."

"You're still gonna help me streak my hair, right?"

"Yeah okay... we're gonna have to bleach the red out first."

Lucy pulled a bottle out of your bag "way ahead of you." Logan took the bottle and went bug eyed "Lucy... You can NOT bleach your hair with industrial strength bleach!"

"What?" she snatched the bottle back and pulled out another and shoved that one in his hands "no- this is the one we're gonna use to bleach me hair with."

"Do I even want to know what the other bleach is for?"

"Nah- it's better this way. You can claim plausible deniability."

******BTR******

"James your eyes AREN'T puffy" Carlos halfheartedly pat him on the head, James removed his hands hopefully and Carlos looked at the pretty boy's face. "Well not MUCH anyway."

James gave out another impossibly watery sob and covered his face with hands. Carlos grabbed his hands "Aw James come on- I was joking, your face looks fine!"

"FINE?" the taller boy repeated back shrilly "I haven't looked just 'fine' since I was four and discover hair product!"

Carlos winced "um fine- I meant great- um amazing" Carlos stumbled over his words and James didn't look even a little consoled. "I hate Logan so much" he moaned and ran his hair "this should be HIS problem- he's the one who knows all those adjectives- I barely know what the word adjective means!"

Well okay he should blame his problem on Logie- he only ruined Carlos' afternoon because Carlos had lied to him (he should really stop doing that- it always seemed to bite him on the ass.)

Though Carlos never would have lied if he thought he was going to get caught!

It was SUPPOSED to be KENDALL stuck in that stupid hairdresser wheely chair not Logan.

"Hey James- wasn't it supposed to be Kendall who was shopping with you?"

"Carlos! How could you be so insensitive to talk about Kendall when I'm out here looking less than perfect. IN PUBLIC!"

Carlos sighed and strolled across the street and into a two-dollar shop. He came out grabbed James' hands and removed them from his face so he could plopped a pair of cop sunglasses on the bridge of his nose.

"Ew Carlos" James pushed the glasses up his nose to hide his eyes "these are... cheap."

"They'll do for now" Carlos twitch and then grabbed James' wrist "Now tell me- what happened to Kendall."

"Oh- him" James sulked and crossed his arms "he totally ditched me to go on a date with Camille."

"WHAT?" Carlos screeched "HE BROKE THE EX GIRLFRIEND CODE?" Carlos flailed "AND DOES THAT MEAN I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO HASN'T DATED CAMILLE?"

"Well no- I mean I just kissed Camille I would NEVER date her... that would be SO not cool" James mumbled. "Plus I don't think it was like a date-date... more like they're having lunch and Kendall made Logan go to the hairdresser with me."

"He's going to feel SO bad when he hears about what that stupid hairdresser did to poor Logie's hair."

"Yeah I'm sure he'll be all cut up about it" Carlos said sarcastically and pulled on James' hand "come on let's go get you some nicer sunglasses."

They began walking and James slung his arm around Carlos' shoulder. "Thanks Carlitos" he smiled softly at the shorter boy "I missed you today..."

"Why? Can Kendall not carry as many shopping bags as I can?"

"Not even close! And get this- he'd never been in a dressing room before! No wonder he didn't know how to put on a pair of skinny jeans! We totally had to get one of the shop girls to cut him out of them!"

"Did the shop girls see him naked?" Carlos giggled and James nodded slow and deliberate "well they might as well have. I guess that's why Logan always says to wear a fresh set of boxers- you never know when some poor shop girl is going to have to cut you out of a pair of skinny jeans."

Carlos laughed, "you know I don't think that's exactly how the saying goes James." James just smirked back at him "no? Well that's how the saying will go from now on!"

******BTR******

Carlos had sat through enough hours of shopping with James in his lifetime to make the other two boy's head spin. He had suffered through sales; through Christmas shopping... hell he'd even done black Friday once (mostly because Carlos thought black Friday is the day everyone shopped in all black clothing and he thought it'd be like shopping with ninjas- which would have been cool.)

He'd done his time. Sure- it wasn't like shopping for sunglasses with James was all that bad (James had even bought him a pair of ray bands so they could match.)

But it was the principle of the thing, God damn it!

Then as if by Devine intervention- Carlos ran head first into Kendall.

"You" he said waving his finger at Kendall who ignored him in favour of staring at James in fear.

A devious smile spread across his face and Carlos wrapped his arm around Camille's shoulder- who had been standing next to Kendall. "Camille" he said warmly "what a surprise- what brings you here in the middle of the side walk?"

Camille gestured at her ice cream- 'ah yes' Carlos thought sourly, he actually had remnants of Kendall's ice cream on his shirt from the collision. "Just on an ice cream date huh?"

Her eyes went wide and she shook her head "no- no Kendall and I aren't on a date!" Kendall nodded along franticly but was trying to hide himself behind Camille as James glared at Kendall.

"Yeah Kendall it sure does look funny- you just left me and you let awful things happen to Logan's hair!"

Camille gasped "something happened to Logie's hair?"

Carlos nodded solemnly "oh yes- luckily Lucy was there for him."

A look crossed Camille's face and Carlos suppressed a giggle- the plan hadn't been to get revenge on Logan- but hey now it was like two for one.

"Oh yeah Lucy was really sympathetic- she took him up to her apartment... You know... alone."

"WHAT?" Camille stamped her foot and the took off running "I'M GOING TO INJURE THAT LITTLE-"

"Oh no" Carlos said a hit his cheek lightly "was that MY fault?"

"Um let me think" Kendall kicked his shin "yes! You need to go fix that!"

"You're absolutely right Kendall" he gave the blonde a large smile and took off at a slow jog "sorry I can't go shoe shopping James!" he called but James waved him off "nah, do whatcha gotta do."

"Hey you should take Kendall- I mean you were supposed to be shopping with him in the first place right?"

James turned to Kendall with a large smile plaster on his face and Kendall's eyes went wide.

He had been tricked into shopping with James.

Again.

"I'm going to get that bastard if it's the last thing I do" Kendall vowed and James rolled his eyes "yeah whatever you say- maybe today I can finally convoke you to buy something other than vans."

Truly this was hell.

**Author's Note: yes HalfJillHalfJack I am making you write about shoe shopping (good luck with that.) I'm actually really glad I don't have to update the next chapter because she is SO much better at writing Kendall than I am. **

**Anyway thank you for all the reviews to far! (I would PM you but this isn't my account) Please continue to review and if you enjoy my writing style please swing over to my account.**

**-Moon Soon**


	4. HalfJillHalfJack 2

**Authors note: Okay I know, its obviously my turn when the chapters really late, but I pinky squared with a lock and everything to update today.**

**In my defense it was a hard one to write for me. But I'm probably going to update two more of my other stories today, so I'll try my best  
><strong>

"There are actual stores for just shoes? Like by themselves?" Kendall asked almost regretfully as James dragged him into a non descript store.

"Honestly Kendall, you should just leave the sarcasm to Logan." James said smirking as he walked down an isle with a fixated gaze.

"Haha yeah because that's what I was doing," Kendall muttered sarcastically as he followed James.

"That's the spirit Kendall!" James said cheerfully, Kendall glared and started to rub the spot on his shirt where his ice cream had hit Carlos and consequently himself. He frowned mourning the ice cream for a moment, he could do with another one..

He took light comfort in the fact it had at least stained Carlos' shirt as well and you know also that the shirt he was wearing now was the one James had bought.

He smiled at the karmic revenge of his favorite plaid shirt...and then paled, James wouldn't make him buy a third shirt today...would he?

***************BTR*****************

Carlos jogged after Camille; he stopped shortly out of breath. When did she get so fit? Or maybe when girls are really pissed they get super speed!...He made a mental note to look into that later, it could possibly help with him becoming a superhero.

Carlos caught up to Camille in the hall, "Look Camille I didn't mean anything by what I said before. I-I I was mad at Logan that's all! I was just being an ass-""Carlos I appreciate you being Logan's friend but if Logan's cheating on me before we've even gotten back together I-I" Camille stopped at Lucy's apartment all anxiety forgotten as she geared herself up knocking on the door violently before yanking it open.

"Oh no," Carlos muttered as he followed her inside almost crashing into her as she stopped. Carlos peered around her frozen form.

Lucy was leaning over while Logan had his hands on her head as her put the bleach in her hair. They failed to notice Camille and Carlos' presence.

Carlos couldn't help but snigger at their position that looked awfully different from his and Camille's angle.

Logan looked up, "Oh hey guys," he waved a gloved hand covered in bleach and Lucy sat up straighter. "Oh hey Camille, Logan here was helping me dye my hair," Lucy said in greeting as she stared at Camille's stoic expression.

She slowly realised the situation and then stared at Logan. "I thought something was wrong with your hair," Camille question narrowing her eyes at Logan.

Carlos looked panicked at Camille for a second before remembering what he had said to her at the mall. But then he remembered how Logan had tricked him into sunny shopping with James and his role in why he followed Camille was momentarily forgotten...

"Yeah Logan, your hair looks FINE, nice actually, kind of messy though," Carlos said raising his eyebrows challenging at Logan.

Logan's head began to spin as he looked between the angry faces of Camille and Carlos. He couldn't believe he'd actually been on a date with Camille this morning before everything started to go wrong. There had been so much friend swapping and deception in the middle he was starting to lose track...

"Wait what are you doing with Carlos? I thought you were having lunch with Kendall." Logan stated looking at their piercing gazes, better to get one in before all the accusations were pointed at him. 

"I may have eluded certain things about you and Lucy to Camille," Carlos muttered scratching the back of his head. He continued stuttering as Logan's eyes narrowed, "But I, well Kendall sort of made me come fix it, but you sent me glasses shopping!" Carlos said in a rush that everyone was barely able to figure out what he was saying.

Camille was the first to speak and was oddly calm now, "Why did Logan make you go shopping with James, I thought you were with James." Camille said looking at Logan. 

"I was, but that was because Carlos said he was doing homework but he was really with Lucy so I tricked Kendall into shopping with James which backfired on me and stole my date so when I saw Carlos with Lucy I got back at him by pretending my hair was tiger streaked." Logan tried to explain but ended up confusing himself.

"Why is it that every time I hang out with you guys I'm stuck in a gossip girl episode." Lucy quipped annoyed as she rolled her eyes.

"I thought we were more quirky kids show," Logan defended.

"Oh oh or the power rangers!" Carlos chimed in.

"Never mind," Lucy said rolling her eyes and sitting back heavily in her chair.

"So this isn't some kind of date?" Camille asked finally gesturing to them with her hands. She smiled in relief when they both laughed. "God no, ow ow Logan the bleach its stinging!" Lucy cried fanning her head mid sentence.

"You should probably wash that out," Logan said picking up the box of bleach reading the instructions. "Thanks Einstein!" Lucy replied sarcastically as she ran to her small bathroom.

"Did you still wanna maybe finish our date?" Logan asked Camille as Lucy fled the room. "Shouldn't you make sure she's okay?" Camille said disapprovingly as she stared worriedly at the bathroom door.

"Righttttt," Logan b lined for the bathroom.

"Logan Mitchell I will kill you! Kill you, you here me?" Camille and Carlos heard Lucy scream as they both rushed to the bathroom.

"Oh my,"

"God."

"Lucy let go of Logan!"

**************BTR*************

"Ohh," Kendall said with interest as he stopped in front of a pair of blue vans, he didn't have these ones.

"Kendall if you are holding vans, put them down and back away!" James called from a short distance away looking in another direction.

Kendall pouted and put them down reluctantly, "Daddy will be back." He promised putting them gently back in their place before going to find James. He must be nearly done now.

"Are you almost finished?" Kendall asked sighing dramatically.

"stop being dramatic-"What is that!" Kendall interjected grabbing James' hand and bringing it close to his face.

"What do you think it is?" James said trying to snatch his hand back rolling his eyes.

"When did you have time to get a girls number and pick out ten pairs of shoes?" Kendall cried exasperated as he stared at the boxes surrounding James.

"It would have been more, but I know your in experienced with holding shopping bags," James said as picked up half the pile of shoes and Kendall reluctantly followed suit picking up the other half muttering only a few more minutes of hell.

As they left the store Kendall wanted to bash his head against the wall. James had also gotten the cashiers number on the way out. Kendall found this particularly odd since he was with him buying the shoes and people had been saying they were the cutest couple all day.

James had basically cheated on him!

James gasped suddenly as they walked through the crowd of people leaving the center. "What? If it's a sale I'm putting my foot down," Kendall said defiantly as he tried to hurry them out of the building.

"No, its way worse, what have you done to my shirt? And how haven't I noticed?" James said grabbing Kendall's shirt who in the process stumbled as they walked.

"I ran into Carlos with my ice cream before, its no big deal, you can hardly see the stain anymore," Kendall said trying to swat James' hand away after noticing some weird looks.

"I cant be seen with you in this shirt! I should get you another one." James said ponding in thought.

"No way pretty boy." Kendall said dryly.

"But."

"No."

"But you could just-"

"You don't want me to wear this anymore?" Kendall asked frustrated as he turned towards James his patience breaking.

*****************BTR*******************

"I can't believe we were banished.." Carlos whined as he took a sip of his smoothie. Logan nodded warily.

After Camille and Carlos entered the bathroom Camille promptly booted them out saying she had serious work to do. Lucy had screamed and told them they were banished and that Logan was never allowed to handle hair care products within at least fifty feet of her.

Logan was pretty sure he was going to get that in writing to.

"This sucks, I wouldn't have screwed it up if it was me who was dying her hair," Carlos mumbled as he made an obnoxiously loud noise from sucking his straw.

"What this is your fault to begin with! If you had just been doing your home-"My fault? Who pretends to have tiger hair? Tigers everywhere are offended!" Carlos yelled back cutting over him.

"That doesn't even make sense?" Logan yelled back. "The tigers are offended that your stupid hair was associated with them!" Carlos snipes back angrily.

"My hair is not stupid! You take that back!"

"Make me!"

The two started their brawl with Logan knocking Carlos' smoothie out of his hand and the remaining of it fell on Carlos who screamed, "first Kendalls ice cream and now my smoothie!" He tackled Logan and they fell off the lobby couch onto the ground.

"Do you smell something?" James asked Kendall as they walked through the palmwoods lobby.

"It smells like fight." Kendall agreed.

"And blueberries." James finished.

They approach one of the lunges in the lobby and peer over it, "Hey guys!" James said cheerily as Logan and Carlos stopped fighting, limbs tangled.

"Soooo what's' new?" James continues smirking at the scene in front of him. Secretly proud his spidy sense of smell was right about the blueberries as he stared at Carlos who was covered in smoothie.

"We got banned from Lucy's apartment!" Logan said casually as he wiped his finger across Carlos' face and stuck it in his mouth, mmm face smoothie.

"It was your fault!" Carlos exclaimed shoving Logan's hand away.

"Was NOT!" Logan yelled back as they begun to fight again. Kendall and James watched on in amusement. This was the best thing that happened to Kendall all day, he wasn't going to stop it by being mature or something.

After a few minutes they stopped to catch their breath, "Hey Kendall?" Carlos asked.

"Yeah?"

"Why aren't you wearing a shirt?"

**The end **


End file.
